We also tend to idealize those things that we have chosen or acquired. But then the researchers looked at unrealistic idealization in the relationship. Idealization reflects a drive to escape from an internal experience felt to be unbearable and to connect with something perfect. It makes sense that the two are often confused because they both happen at the beginning of a new relationship. While the honeymoon phase is an inevitable part of falling in love, idealization is not. No Middle Ground. This defense mechanism may take aim at another person, an actual experience or one's own self. This phase always occurs right at the beginning of any relationship with a narcissist, and is where they will make you feel truly special. You will be swept off of your feet, lost in a passionate fantasy with someone who excites you on every level: emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. Sigmund Freud. The idealization phase in a psychopathic relationship will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Definition: Splitting - The practice of regarding people and situations as either completely "good" or completely "bad". The first stage in a narcissistic relationship is “idealization” and is perhaps the most dangerous of them all. What drives idealization and devaluation by women in romantic relationships at a very basic level is relationship insecurity. 10 ways to identify idealization-discard relationship cycle of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)-1. Although a high level of relationship idealization can be the kiss of death for long-distance couples once brought together, a certain level of idealization in any relationship is considered necessary for growth and satisfaction (Murray & Holmes, 1997). Idealization. The term idealization first appeared in connection with Freud's definition of narcissism.Freud's vision was that all human infants pass through a phase of primary narcissism in which they assume they are the centre of their universe. This is how they hook you! Idealization is the over-estimation of the desirable qualities and underestimation of the limitations of a desired thing. But that still leaves one way in which this phenomenon can serve as an effective ally: Idealization and reconstructing memories can enhance a healthy relationship or even kindle a new flame. With this in mind, the next time you reflect on whether that special someone indeed was “the one,” ask yourself if it’s genuinely about your love for them or instead about your desire to even the playing field, to restore your pride, and to win the back-and-forth relationship game. It is very different from bipolar disorder. 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